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CoalmineXIII

Memory is not mandatory.
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Growing up.

2 min read
Okay, so I've recently turned 21. Good times. Only not so much. I have grown to realize that I don't know anyone anymore. It's not like a "Who are you again?" not knowing it's more of a "Who are you now?" thing. It just really kills me how I can spend like what 13 years with one group of friends. Constant changes being made and new people coming and going, but some faces stay the same. And even if these faces stay the same, the central being behind them is different. Bone chillingly different in some cases it seems. I'm sure I'm not alone in this, or rather, I hope I am not.
Anyway, I find it really difficult to suddenly pick up like, "OMG I was such a tool when I was younger, I should act like that now!" Don't get me wrong, I can have fun, joke around, make an ass of myself just like the rest of the world. I'm all about being who you are and living your life and all that jazz. But I can't be expected to observe these strangers that used to be so close to me and act as I did say 6 years ago? I'm not 15 anymore. I have changed SO much in 6 years. I wish that there was an easy, "We've grown apart." System, or a "You grow up sometimes, try doing it all the time so we can stay friends." button.
I do have to say, I have some friends that I know now, I've met as an adult, or have currently as adults, and I am thankful for them. I feel like I could never need another friend in my life with the ones I have, but sure enough, another amazing one comes along. I just really wish I could make everyone happy, with me in their live, and them in mine, or without us having any interaction. I can be a nice person, but it seems I'm growing colder this time of year.
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Growing up. by CoalmineXIII, journal